Have I Found Myself?

As this school year comes to a close, I ponder:
Have I finally found myself?
Or have I lost a part of me because of all the chaos?

Maybe...maybe I've figured out who I can be, but lost some aspects of my life in the process. Yet, at the same time, gained so much.

See, confusion, no way of getting around it.


~ Kyla (June 11, 2009)

Scream My Name

Someone scream my name.
Someone say, "I need you."
Someone say, "I want you."
Someone say, "I love you."
Somebody tell me I mean something to them.
Somebody say I've turned their world upside down.
Somebody let me know that if I left, they would miss me.
Somebody tell me that I'm worth it all.
Somebody...anybody...Scream My Name.


~Kyla (May 18, 2009)

Catching Butterflies

You wait for so long to catch butterflies. Then one decides to sit upon your shoulder for awhile, but it turns out it's not the one you were hoping for. So you wait even longer until one day, that rare species comes fluttering down and lands on your heart...


~Kyla (April 3, 2009)

Familiar Uneasiness

Standing there in perfect content, I looked up. Immediately I began feeling all funny inside. I bit the bottom of my lip to hide the awkwardness that was building up inside of me. It was a strange uneasiness. However, the feeling was not new. It was not one of unfamiliarity, but one that had been placed into a box, just waiting for a chance to show itself again. I would be sticking around to explore it a bit more and see how it had changed. There was even a possibility that the exposure of it would change me. For the good or the bad? I hoped that it had come out to shed some light onto my happiness...


~Kyla (end of March '09)

Passage to My World

1 week total...wasted
3 pieces of paper, front and back...wasted
All the ink in a blue pen...wasted

All wasted on an impossible dream...

Why did I waste so much? Because it was my outlet, it was my way out of the real world. It was the one passage I could sneak through. It led me to a different world, MY world. A place where no one could tell me what was acceptable, and what was frowned upon. A sanctuary where no one's opinion mattered. It was a garden I could be absolutely free in...

But once that bell rang, my mind would quickly race back to the corridor that led to reality...


~Kyla (mid March of '09)

Adapt

Things are happening... People are changing... Feelings are mixing... There is not much we can do about it. We all just have to accept that life is never going to stay the same for too long. If you can't adapt, then you are never going to survive.


~Kyla (March 8, 2009)

Time to Let Go...

I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. My world was shattering around me. I was suffocating. I wanted, I needed, to get out. But I couldn't find the way. Where was my exit plan?

There was none. It was just time for me to let go...


~Kyla (March 4, 2009)

Who I Am Now

This is who I am now. I am no longer that happy care-free child I used to be. I am now a dismal, worried teenager. I never really seem content with my life, even though I am aware of the fact that I have a great one. I appreciate everything and everyone in my life, but somehow, it's just never enough to fulfill me. I can admit to my flaws, and I know that no one can be perfect, but I still wonder: Will I ever be truely happy again?...

~Kyla (February 22, 2009)

Mirror Replay

I wiped the fog away and peered into the mirror. What I saw didn't surprise me at all, although it should have. Looking back at me were the girls from earlier. The whole conversation began playing itself back. I saw myself, I saw the pained look on my face. I observed how the other girls kept talking, and I continued to be unnoticed.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. When I opened them, I studied the girl staring back. I sighed in relief because the figure eyeing me was my reflection.

Ya, I realized, this is me.

I quickly grabbed the brush on the counter and my thoughts dissolved back into the corners of my mind.


~Kyla (mid February of '09)

Waves

My thoughts were like waves. They came crashing down, then retreated. And after, I felt good and carefree again...but then another one would just come crashing down on me again...


~Kyla (January 1, 2009)

Rain

As I sat next to the window sill, I listened to the soft pitter-patter of the rain. It was so peaceful. I watched as the little droplets danced along the glass. They were so graceful, so free. Everything was calm outside. The gentle breeze intertwined with the branches of the trees. The soothing whistle of the wind caused tiny animals to fall into an untroubled sleep.

As I drank the last few sips of my hot cocoa, the clouds parted, revealing the sun. A rainbow suddenly emerged. It was beautiful, almost majestic. This was how it was supposed to be...

Nature. Don't take it for granted. Take a few minutes, sit down, and really just soak it all in. You'd be surprised how much we miss in our busy lives.


~Kyla (a rainy day in November of '08)

Love Songs

Love songs...You can love them, you can hate them, you can feel anyway about them...The only thing you can't do: escape them...You know that somewhere in the deep sea of sappy, heartfelt songs, there is that particular one that totally and completely fits ur "love status"


~Kyla (April 21, 2008)

Heart's Demise

What used to be a shining glow of perfection had now turned into a hideous splotch of nothingness. No longer were his eyes a sparkling pair of diamonds, just two dull lumps of pebbles. His smile was not mesmerizing, just nauseating. The laugh that use to tickle my heart was now a sharp spear of mockery. I used to think I wanted the heart of whom I had loved so much, but now I knew better. I didn’t want that hatred beating muscle anymore. What I needed was to be alone for once. I arose from my dead like state and watched as my feet moved, left, right, left, right.


~Kyla (part of an essay for Mr. Giraud's honors 8th grade english class)

Taunting love

Why must love taunt us? Why must it mess with our minds? Why does it take over our lives? Why is it both wonderful and horrible at the same time? Why can't we escape it?
But most of all: Why do we want it so bad?


~Kyla (April 4, 2008)

Do we write our own lives?

Do we write our own lives? Or are they already written out for us and we just have to keep on turning the pages...But what happens when our writers run out of words? Do we write the rest of our book? Or do we just...disappear?


~Kyla (March 7, 2008)

New Blog

Hey everybody. So if you read the description, you know that this is the second blog I made. It's going to be used to post quotes and writings I've made.
And I know that the name is spelled weird, and it looks kind of funny. But you're just going to have to deal with it =P.
Anyway, I'm going to start off by posting old peices of writing (I'll try to post a couple a day), and then gradually move on to newer ones. Enjoy, and please give me some feedback by commenting. Thanks =)


Much love,
Kyla